Life is sometimes a whirlwind. Minutes quickly fade to hours and hours to days and days to months. You wake up one morning and realize that in the very attempts to go through life, you forget what it is that allows you to truly live.
For months I found myself increasingly caught up in survival mode…”auto pilot”, as my pastor called it the other day. Fall started out wonderful, school was good, church was good, work was changing, but good. The pace picked up with the increasing changes. Survival mode kicked in as I got really sick and tried to manage work + school. Eventually in the hustle and bustle I either got way too busy, or a little disappointed in God that everything was hitting me at once. Either way, everything was getting done, but the time between my talks with God grew longer and longer…. I was doing a lot…but somewhere along the way, in the course of months, I completely forgot to simply be.
We all go through these seasons of busyness. Sometimes the distractions are truly distractions, but sometimes we get caught up in doing really good things – being responsible with our kids, our work, our school, and our church ministries. We do, do, do…and we strive to do well. What I find happens, however, is that in the race to do, we forget that first and foremost we must simply be.
In Psalm 46:10 we find this:
“Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on the earth.
A few weeks ago, I ran off to a women’s retreat. It was the first time in months that I had really allowed myself to just sit and absorb encouragement, truth, and wait for whatever God had to speak to me. On Saturday afternoon, I went for a walk by myself to pray, confess, and just decompress everything that was happening in life. Being on the water, I wandered down this old pier and stood at the end. The sun was shining, a breeze was blowing…and I just stood there. Music played from my iPod, but the only words I kept hearing was “be still”.
“Be still, Amy. KNOW that I am your sovereign LORD.”
I closed my eyes and stood there, still, for nearly an hour. Today I wandered around the National Arboretum in DC. It was beautiful and while I was with friends, I found myself lost in thought many times…always coming back to those same words that whispered to me on the pier a few weeks before.
Be still and know.
I strive. I fight. I burn out. Work continues. Ministry and opportunity continue to grow…I look and want to understand what I can do to grow our prayer team. How can I encourage those around me to seek the Lord and grow in their relationship with him? I default to find things I can, could, would, should do…when really I need to LISTEN to this verse that keeps invading my brain and simply take the time to be still. I need to be available to Him again, seeking His voice and His word, knowing full well how sweet His active presence is in our lives…sigh.
a heart set on pilgrimage 