Imagine this:
1. A Boyfriend and girlfriend go to taco bell. They drive up to order and the girl mentions to the guy that she might want one or two of his nachos. He refuses to share and instead buys her a whole order of nachos. She’s now forced to eat all the nachos when all she really wanted was one. or three.
2. A husband and wife sit down at a restaurant. He orders onion rings. She reaches for one, he slowly inches the basket away from her and orders her another order of onion rings.
3. A son makes a sandwich. His mom, who carried him for 9 long months, isn’t hungry enough for her own whole sandwich, but rather just wants to try one bite of what he made…she takes a bite. (1 Point for the Mom). 9 long months…the least he can do is offer one bite of a sandwich. Right?
Now I have to ask, are these women moochers? All they want is a bite of the food…or two or three chips. Clearly they aren’t moochers, they are connecting, encouraging wise spending, and providing opportunities for those men to be more like Jesus. Let me explain.
1. CONNECTORS – I work in a male dominated industry. One thing that I’ve learned is that the way to a man’s heart, mind, attention, and sometimes even respect, is through his stomach. I’m not sure why this is, but food, for men…is a big deal. Women on the other hand, long to feel connections. We will spend hours talking and spending time with our girlfriends as a means of connecting. Sometimes it’s difficult for women to feel connected to men. They don’t always share their emotions and they don’t always want to talk about important things like The Bachelorette or shoes or PMS. What better way for a woman to feel connected to her man than for him to share a little bit of his food? If food is a way to a man’s heart then if he shares it with you, without argument or forcing you to eat an entire order on your own, is a clear and distinct indication of your priority in his life. And at the end of the day, love should transcend the 5 french fries that us women take off the guys plate. Men, when we ask for a bite…we’re not mooching, we’re providing opportunities to connect with you.
2. ENCOURAGERS OF WISE SPENDING – While some may say two is better than one, I would say it’s also more expensive. Sharing a few onion rings with the lady next to you is ultimately far less expensive (and not just monetarily). Aside from saving money, sharing is also less wasteful than getting a second order and having her leave all but the 5 or 6 bites that she ultimately takes from this entirely separate order that the guy has now forced her to tackle. furthermore, there are starving children in the world…and we’ve just wasted an entire blooming onion because the guy couldn’t share those 7 or so bites with his lady friend. By sharing you eat less (maybe I should have included obesity in this list), you save money, and you are not wasteful. I think it makes perfect sense…and the man is not going to go hungry by sharing. Clearly this isn’t mooching…it’s helping, as women are called to do for their men. We “help” them save money and finish all the onion rings in the basket.
3. WHAT WOULD JESUS DO – The final consideration is that by sharing with the women, men are able to walk as Jesus did. The bible says that, specifically within the context of marriage, men should love their wives as Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love the hungry church? He didn’t send them off, he didn’t tell them to go find their own fish. NO! He provided and shared what He had with them. And guess what happened? Everyone ate and was content…no one went hungry. When a woman is simply asking for a bite or two, it’s a perfect opportunity for the men to respond as Jesus did.
A disclaimer for those “un-married men” who might be reading. Just because you’re not married doesn’t mean that you can’t begin to act out this kind of service when it comes to all the yummy food that you have. The best predictor for future behavior is present and past behaviors. Certainly there are examples, but start practicing today for the wife that God brings your way. When your mom or sister or girlfriend goes in for that 7th or 8th onion ring…don’t slap her hands. Don’t force her to order her own…you can practice being like Jesus and sharing with her…it will be a beautiful act of love, it will ultimately save you money and you will connect in new ways and trust me, you will not go hungry.
I think that in ultimately women are not moochers. We nurture and encourage the growth of our men and our relationships. When we say we only want a bite…that’s really all it is. We ask for one onion ring or french fry… we never really take more than 9 or 10. Guys…love the women in your lives. They are not moochers. They are wise, conscious, and usually just a little hungry, but never enough to get their own of anything. Please just share, after all those same women are notorious for bringing home tons of leftovers (we never finish our food anyway) and you will almost always have first dibs. Just sayin’.
Note: This is “tounge-in-cheek” response to Bill Petruzzo’s rant on women being the ultimate moochers. It can be read here.