Seeking Power in God’s Word – Psalm 119:1-41

“”You have commanded your precepts
to be kep diligently.
Oh that my ways may be steadfast
in keeping your statutes!
Then I shall not be put to shame
having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
I will praise you with an upright heart
when I learn your righteous rules.
How can a young man keep his way pure?
By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
I have stored up your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your statutes.
Deal bountifully with your servant,
that I may live and keep your word.
I am a sojourner on the earth;
hide not your commandments from me!
my soul clings to the dust
give me life according to your word!
my soul melts away for sorrow
strengthen me according to your word!
put false ways far from me
and graciously teach me your law!
give me understanding, that I may keep your law
and observe it with all my heart
lead me in the path of your commandments
for I delight in it
incline my heart to your testimonies
and not to selfish gain
turn my eyes from looking at worthless things
and give me life in your ways.
confirm to your servant your promise,
that you may be feared
Behold, I long for your precepts
in your righteousness give me life!
Let your steadfast love come to me, O lord
your salvation according to your promise.
(selected scriptures from Psalm 119: 1-41)

There is something powerful in knowing God’s Truth.  In times of trouble and need it may be a source of comfort or strength.  In times of rejoicing, it may serve as a reminder for where the Glory pertaining to that celebration resides.  In times of confronting and repenting of sin it provides the truth of a cleansing and washing by way of Jesus’s blood.  And in times of temptation, it may as well be the only place we can find the ability to fight and come out from under it without having falling in to sin.

In the case of the latter, it is not merely sufficient to know the Truth of God’s Word.  We know that the Pharisees knew God’s word…they had it memorized, but failed to recognize the word come to life as Jesus walked before them.  We know that Satan knows God’s word.  It was memorized enough to be used as the source of temptation that Jesus faced while he was in the wilderness (see Matthew 4:1-11).  But we also know that as believers, it serves as a tool for which we can fight temptation and begin to know God more fully.  Hebrews 4:12 states:

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

I am circling around the idea that we must know God’s word, but we also must allow it to rest in our hearts, be meditated upon in our minds, and allow it to penetrate our very being that transformation might take place within us and power may be obtained as we reach for it in those times of temptation.  It  is not enough to simply know the scripture and to be able to engage in theological discussions.  We must be transformed.  Scripturally it’s possible…but I wonder if in reality it is practiced as much as one might think as we look upon the people who fill the pews of a church on Sunday morning.

Abiding in God’s word such that transformation is happening and the available power is used wisely is a practice that comes and goes in my own life, and perhaps in the lives of most.  I face temptation and fight successfully.  I face temptation, sort of fight and fail.  I  face temptation and outright succumb, ignoring God’s word for the sake of that immediate gratification or transient fulfillment that I think those sins might provide.  All of the scenarios are true…some more than others.  At the end of the day, however, I really do want to be pure and blameless before God…and this morning I was reminded was the source of that even being a remote possibility lies in God’s word and the place it holds in my innermost.

Abba, let your word penetrate my life.  God, renew me and strengthen me and those around me according to your word and the power it holds.  I seek deliverance from those sins that are so blatant and clear to the world around me…and perhaps even more so those that are dark and hidden from everyone but me and you.  I want to stand as the woman you desire me to be…the woman you are transforming me to become.  Renew that desire and love for your word that I once had.  I want to be the same person, a right reflection of you, to all that look upon me – when I stand before them and when I’m alone, behind closed doors.  I want to be a right reflection of you regardless of who is around me at church, at home, at work, and when I’m in the presence of you alone.  Bring conviction where none stands.  By your word, bring light into the dark places of my heart and life.  I am broken, and weary, and sinful…help me to not buy into the lies.  In the thoughts of CS Lewis, I am like a child who goes on playing in mud puddles because I do not know the breadth of what lies in an offer to vacation on a beach by the sea.  God I am too easily satisfied…I don’t believe that fighting now will preserve my life for a greater satisfaction later, when you provide for me the full depth of your promises.  Please, father…bring your word into my life…with fullness and power, give me the strength to fight myself, my flesh, and my sin for the sake of You, Your love and ultimately your Glory. Amen.

Credibility and Confession

“The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works”.
 ~Augustine of Hippo

 I had an interesting conversation with a friend yesterday.  I began disclosing to her the awkwardness I felt immediately before opening up to her and a few other friends with regards to my heart and holding it close with regards to romantic prospects and relationships.  I knew that the direction the conversation was headed (we were talking about dating and relationships in general) would provide an opportunity to share and perhaps lend to a deeper understanding of the inner turmoil that can exist when desires and sin collide.  

I went on to tell her that on the brink of speaking I had a moment of question.  I wondered if sharing this part of my life would reduce my credibility in their eyes.  I want to be respected, but at the same time I found myself worried that my weaknesses might cause my peers to think less of me that evening.  I shared anyway… 

As I shared with my friend, I confessed to her the difficulty of being vulnerable (which was weird for me because there is much about my past and struggles that I’m honest and open about, especially those things that relate directly to my conversion from atheism to Christianity).  I also wanted to share with her my welcome surprise of freedom and strength that I actually got, not just from my sharing, but perhaps more so from the reception and encouragement/exhortation that I received from her and one of the guys that was sitting in on the discussion. 

What I shared that night, wasn’t so much a confession of current struggle or sin, but perhaps a weakness or past hurt that continues to, in some way, affect me and relationships I have with people.  Somehow discussing this led into a conversation on confession and the corporate discipline of confession – its place and its difficulty. 

James 5:16 tells us very clearly the mandate for confession with brothers – 

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” 

There is something powerful and healing in confessing to another…yet my friend and I pondered whether or not this happens to any great extent.  

Unfortunately Christians are the first to put Christian leaders on pedestals, or put themselves on a type of pedestal (not always in the “better than you” sense, but definitely in the “no one can relate” or “I’m alone in this struggle” pedestal).  We are also, surprisingly, the first to throw stones when a Christian leader steps forward or is found in some great moral failure.  We are the ones who preach James 5:16, but we’re also the ones who seem to be the first to condemn and judge when one does step forward and confess.  

I wonder to myself if I would be as devoted to follow a pastor who stood in the pulpit and confessed a deep struggle to His congregation.  While I would love to hear the humanness of our Christian leaders, I wonder if, in my own sin, I would withhold from them the very Grace that I’ve been given so freely through Christ.  Unfortunately I think (based on my reactions to other leaders who were found in some kind of moral failure) I would judge them and consider them less credible.  I probably wouldn’t trust their church, their preaching, and their ministries…all because they revealed themselves as fallible, fallen people.    

I wonder if this dynamic of confession and diminishing credibility (or perceived/feared diminished credibility) acts to propagate a sense of non-confession.  We confess the spiritual sins while the deeper soul eating sins continue to live on when no one is looking.  We fear the very things I just said I would and have done in the past. 

Or perhaps, as I mentioned earlier, we lie to ourselves, placing us on a pedestal of isolation – thinking that we are the only ones going through this, or that no one will understand or relate.  We conceal our sins thinking that everyone is better than us or couldn’t possibly relate to this or that.  We never act on James 5:16 with regards to all areas of our heart and life.   

Or perhaps we have yet to recognize or call a sin for what it is – not a result of family or other people, but a sin that we own and acknowledge to be the struggle and problem that it is.  In other words, we remain blind to it – we dare not to own it…it lives on, secretly thriving in our lives. 

I think there is a great deal of humility in confessing sins…and that is something that is hard for us.  We don’t want to look like bad people, but often come out looking like hypocrites regardless of whether we confess or just wait until our sin is found out by the people around us.  

Richard Foster says this in his book “Celebration of Discipline” 

“Confession is a difficult discipline for us because we all too often view the believing community as a fellowship of saints before we see it as a fellowship of sinners.  We feel that every one else as advanced so far in to holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin.  We cannon bear to reveal our failures and shortcomings to others.  We imagine that we are the only ones who have no stepped onto the high road to heaven.  Therefore we hide ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy.”

 With all this said, and knowing the sterotype of hypocrite and holier than thou amongst people outside of the church…perhaps true honest confession paired with The Grace extended to each of us through Christ is a key for increased credibility.  Perhaps it is confession, not perfection, that gives the greatest witness to sanctification and our need for Christ, both within the Church as well as to the world around us.

a thought for the day…

I must admit that I once loved David Crowder music. I still think the music is good, but I prefer not to listen to him. For a while I felt like I couldn’t escape the songs by Him and Chris Tomlin and a few others. In impromptu worship gatherings, in church, in the radio, on road trips…everywhere I went it was all DCB, all the time. They are great songs and great artists, but it seemed like everywhere I turned, that’s all I would hear. Too much of a good thing can sometimes be a bad thing, ya know?

Well, because of this I’ve gotten into the habit of pressing the next button on my ipod whenever a Dave Crowder song comes on.

Last night, however, was a different story. I spent the evening with a few friends in downtown Annapolis. We goofed off, listened to live music, danced a little, and even talked about how hard and frustrating it is when we know we should desire God, but instead we desire sin (or even when we desire our desires and hopes and dreams over God himself). Although the discussion was based an upcoming transition into college for one of my friends, it was definitely relevant and thought provoking for me personally, and where I’ve found myself stuck for the past few weeks.

On my ride home, I talked to a close friend of mine who challenged me to spend some time in prayer, confessing and again laying down my sin and my idols and the crap and frustration that has marked my spiritual life on and off for the last several months and especially over the last few weeks. Basically she encouraged me to be honest before God. Simple advice. I know everything she said, but it helped to hear it from someone else. Conviction came through her voice, and tears welled up as I realized she was saying what I had been more of less avoiding for a while now.

When I got home I heeded the advice of my friend. I spent some time with the Lord, being honest…telling Him the things He already knows, but telling him because ultimately relationships never “just happen”…even when that relationship is with the Lord. The communication within relationships is a continual process of speaking and listening – and that’s a key component that’s been missing for me lately. I laid outside on my hammock praying and talking to God. The wind blew and fireflies lit up all around me. I snuggled up in the blanket I had brought outside and imagined that Jesus was there with me as I spoke about

Frustration
Sadness
Loneliness
Confusion
Hopes
Dreams
Disappointment
and eventually my own sin
My hate of the flesh
my idols
my selfishness
And my continual need for Him

Eventually I grew quiet wanting to hear something…anything from my Father. I don’t know how long I laid there…searching the sky and watching the trees blow around me. My IPod shuffled through songs, but I laid there oblivious, as if I was surrounded by silence. After a while I heard these words come over my IPod. For the first time in a long time I didn’t skip forward, but listened and prayed the words as He sang.

Take my heart, I lay it down
At the feet of You who’s crowned
And take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it up, to You who’s throned
And I will worship you, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You, Lord
Take my fret, take my fear
All I have I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything
And it’s just You and me here now
Only You and me here now
You should see the view
When it’s only You
(Dave Crowder Band, Only You)

For the first time in a long time I didn’t skip forward, but listened as the words penetrated my heart and rose up as if they were coming from me alone. For the first time in a long time I felt a shift in my heart…a shift that seemed to move me a little closer to Him.